Back in January, my wife and I went through some of the worst times we have seen in our marriage so far. We were already going through a crippling winter and we lived on a giant hill which made it worse. There wasn't really anywhere to take the kids to play and just leaving the house was hazardous at times. We were asked by the agency who was renting the house we were living in on behalf of the owner if we wanted to renew our lease. We talked about it for a few days and despite the issues with the weather, we really didn't want to move so we decided that we wanted to stay and told them that we would renew it for one more year. A few days later, we got a message from them saying that the owner has decided to sell and we had to move out by the end of February. We asked if we could have by the end of March and the owner refused. This sent us scrambling to find a new place. We spent about two weeks trying and we found a place about a half hour north of where we were that was bought by a flipper who was going to rent out the house. We loved the area but the lease was ridiculous. We tried to negotiate the lease but it was a no go. We decided to suck it up and just sign it and we offered him half the money to secure the house and the other half in two week (which would be two weeks before we would move in) and he rejected that. We decided to scrap that idea and we started looking at the dreaded apartment option. One day, about three weeks before our lease ended, my wife found a place on craigslist that we could afford, that was in a great area but it was a twin which we didn't want but we decided to look at it. We loved it right away and signed the lease a few days later...
Halfway through this shit storm was another with our oldest son. Our son was attending a Presbyterian pre school in a wealthier part of our area. We are not well off or anything like that so we already stick out like sore tattooed thumbs. We had this feeling that his teacher didn't care for us either, unlike his teacher from the year before at the same school who loved us and our son. He started school in September and our parent/teacher conference wasn't until mid-January. Our son did awesome in his previous year of school and got great marks and compliments from his teachers. We had no idea of an issues or problems. As soon as we sat down at our meeting, we knew there was an issue. His teacher said, "Jonas is a sweet boy and very kind but he isn't ready to move onto kindergarten and we can not recommend that he does." She then went down a list of things that he was falling behind in and what he was and wasn't doing right. He wasn't participating in class. He wasn't singing and dancing. He had issues identifying colors, numbers, shapes and letters. His retention on the lessons was poor. His word association was also poor, like when they asked him what happens when water freezes and he said something that didn't even make sense. Before we left, she gave us the name and number of a coach that we could get in contact with to help us.
I was absolutely devastated. I cried after we left and sat in the car and talked. I felt like an absolute failure. I was mad at myself. I was mad at his teacher for not telling us this months before or when she saw an issue. I was mad at our youngest child for taking up so much of our time and being an cause in his regression. I was mad at my wife for not being home more to help. I was mad at myself for being lazy, blind and stupid. I was mad at our landlord for the stress we are now sucked into. I was mad at my son for the situation. I was heartbroken. Looking back on all of that anger, I was wrong for being mad at everyone, except myself. It was my fault. When we got home, we sat down and talked to our son and all sorts of emotions were coming from both of us and I don't think my son knew what was going on. The next morning, everything changed. I woke up with a new perspective and a new plan. I'm not a teacher, although at one point, I wanted to be but not young children. I had to buckle down and try to do it. At first it was hard and extremely frustrating. My son clearly showed that he was having issues and I had NO idea how to help him or fix it. We confided in some family friends who are very close to us and our kids and they helped us with his sing and dance participation along with their little girl. My wife and I decided to do something we used to make fun of and thought was just a money making outfit and we turned to ABC Mouse for help.
I really couldn't believe how he changed, almost over night. I know it sounds like a commercial but worked. We started doing lesson plans on it daily and then letting him freely navigate the site and then we downloaded an app for the Ipad. In less than a month, his teacher took me to the side and told us that they were shocked in his turn around and told us that they were proud of us as parents for fixing the issues. We stayed on our son with ABC Mouse, we put more educational TV shows on, we took time to quiz him on shapes, colors, letters and numbers. Every time we drove by a gas station, we asked him the numbers. Every time we watched hockey, we were asking him the numbers on his favorite players and the letters in their names. We were trying our best to associate learning to the things that he loved doing. A few weeks before graduation, his teacher pulled me to the side again and told me that Jonas was doing lessons by himself without instructions and doing them right. She expressed how proud she was again. I asked her about his advancement to kindergarten and the use of a coach and she said that she didn't have any issues with him moving up and that a coach was not needed. I now know what pride feels like, not the "I'm better than you pride" but the type of pride that fills you with happiness and peace.
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